Faithfulness like Wind

In my mind, I like to think of God's faithfulness like the wind. It is not a tangible object that I can visibly see, or touch and wrap my hands around. It does not always obviously make itself known in my day-to-day life. But, because God is gracious, He reveals His faithfulness to us through the Holy Spirit. There is evidence of His faithfulness everywhere. His faithfulness is like the wind. I cannot physically see the wind moving through the air around me, but I can see its influence everywhere. I see it rustle the leaves and make the flowers play. I see it in time spent with my roommates, laughing, processing through hard seasons, and time spent sharing burdens and crying over them together. The people around us are God's provision. Although we cannot see or touch the attribute of God's faithfulness, we have evidence of it everywhere. God does not ask us to believe because we can see, He asks us to trust and have faith. "For we walk by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7). We are able to develop faith by learning from His example.

"if we are faithless, He remains faithful - for He cannot deny Himself" (2 Timothy 2:13)

We may not see the blueprint of His plan, and we may busy ourselves too much with temporary things to notice God's eternal work around us, but God is faithful. He is faithful when we are not, and when we choose not to look for evidence of His faithfulness. I do not think that God desires a relationship with each of us individually so that He can make our lives comfortable, successful, and picture-perfect in whatever way we may imagine. There may be some times of rustled feathers, and of houses built on the sand blown over. But through all circumstances, we are given life abundantly through the righteousness of Jesus, because God's faithfulness is unchanging. A life lived with Jesus is a life that is guaranteed trial, but it is also a life that is guaranteed eternity with our Lord.

As believers, we have the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. As a result of being indwelled by the Spirit and also being made in the likeness of God, we possess His attributes, poor reflections though they may be at times. Therefore, because God is faithful, I have the capacity to be faithful by the Spirit. In my own life, I have been learning about faithfulness through prayer. I seek the Lord in prayer often through request, and usually lacking perseverance or seriousness. God graciously fosters growth in my faith by leading me to persist in prayer, knowing that immediate gratification would quench my perceived need of Him. Receiving an immediate answer would not call for trust, rather my trust would simply be a product of visible results. "God is so good" are my thoughts to answered prayers. Truthfully, God is good regardless of how He answers my prayers, because God is faithful. He is faithful to promote His glory and He is faithful to make believers more like His Son.

What would our lives look like if we let them be a demonstration of God's faithfulness?

Traveling Light, Accepting Grace

I have a Type A personality. For anyone reading this who knows me, you may laugh at how obvious this truth is. Just the other day I told my mom the number of steps for the three groups of stairs leading up to my room in my house at school (5, 8, 5). My roommate and mom looked at me while I explained like I was some unique and strange object in a museum, and laughed with me at my quirkiness of caring about the number of steps so that I could skip the correct stair to land just right on the landing at the top.

I share this basic knowledge about myself to give context. Knowing that I am a Type A person, I know myself to desire control, knowledge, plans, and understanding. Right now, I would love the knowledge of what life after graduation in May looks like. I would like control over the job search process. And I would certainly like understanding for how to enjoy life in the moment as a senior in college, while still preparing for life as soon as this season ends in only a few months. As a Type A, I also am a doer. I like to commit myself and get involved with my surroundings. I am quite talented in the art of distracting myself. Knowing these things about me, and maybe they relate to you, will make these thoughts even more refreshing and life-giving.

In our culture, we are told to be individualistic, dreamers, achievers, extraordinary, and self-sufficient. In the midst of being fed all of these ambitions, I am learning each moment of every day that I am a member of a whole, in need of community, that my life is not my own, and that apart from God I am one reckless heart without hope and incapable of meaningful dreams. When I get caught up in the ambitions of our culture, I am quick to measure the value of my life on my performance. Do I have a sufficient and wide breadth of knowledge? Am I involved in the right things? Is my life different? In short: do I measure up? I then desperately try to balance on the tightrope that is the relationship of faith and works. The knowledge that works are a result, or evidence, of genuine faith is slowly transforming my daily life. My works do not save me. I could never attain any level of worthiness or acceptance on my own, regardless of how many people I serve or how many wells I build or diseases I cure. There is literally nothing that could help me, a broken sinner, earn my way back into a right relationship with my perfect Creator. "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, so that no one may boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).

This is where I often make my mistake. I look to God for grace, but at the same time am often not willing to accept it. I admit a struggle, I recognize a sin, I see the consequence and influence it has over my life and seek restoration. But here's what I do: I hand over the suitcase of what weighs me down, but hold onto all of its contents. I will recognize the issue and hand over the name (anxiety, a lack of trust, judgement, etc.), but I still hold onto its filling with clenched fists. I hand over the shell of the problem, but remain unable to move on to better things and a useful life, because my hands are literally full of what God offers to hold for me.

Why do we hold onto these useless things? I ask God to restore my mind after struggling with anxiety, and the next moment when I am asked about something with an uncertain answer, the choice to choose between promised peace and hope in God's character and plan and my natural (and sinful) emotion to worry, comes all too quickly. It is by grace that I am saved. by grace. Every day, when I am presented with the option to work for approval (to make the grade, get the interview, be the go-to friend, etc.), I will relinquish my grip on all of the luggage that wears me down. by grace. By grace, I will draw near to God's throne, in faith, and know that what He has in store is better. I will travel light, knowing that my King is capable, willing, and eager to carry my load for me, in fact He already has.  "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16).

The Big Event (in My Life)

In 1982, Joe Nussbaum, then Vice President of the Student Government Association at Texas A&M University, founded The Big Event as a way for students to say “Thank You” to the surrounding community for supporting A&M’s students. Mr. Nussbaum viewed The Big Event as a means for students to show their gratitude by completing various tasks at the area residents’ homes.

The Big Event is not about the number of jobs completed or the number of students who participate each year. Instead, the relationships developed between students and residents make The Big Event unique.

On March 23^rd, 2013, roughly 19,000 students volunteered to serve 1,850 community residents.

This year I have had the joy to serve on the committee for The Big Event. I wish I could even begin to explain how I have grown and what I have learned through this experience.

The most important thing that I have experienced is what it truly looks like to be an extension of God’s presence. “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20). As believers, we accept the costly gift of Jesus’ sacrifice of His perfect life in order to ransom our hearts into His eternal kingdom. Once we have accepted this gift, our lives belong to Him. “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3). As we belong to Christ and have been adopted as sons and daughters into the kingdom of God, we are reflections of His character. Once we have been justified through faith, we are constantly sanctified- made more and more like Jesus. In this there are incredible opportunities. In every circumstance, we have the opportunity to show God’s character to anyone that we come into contact with. Of course, we will not ever be perfect on this earth. But let this serve as a reminder to us that the title of “Christian” brings such great responsibilities and joys. Life may be full of blessings and sweetness, or it may be just chaos and frustration. Regardless, how we respond and react ought to always reflect our dedication and love to the Lord.

Something else that I have learned is the sweet difference between knowledge and experience. It is one thing to know God’s character and who He is by studying His Word. It is a complete other thing to experience who He is in and through various aspects of your life. In The Big Event, it is one thing to be expecting about 19,000 students to show up to a parking lot at 9:00 AM on a Saturday to serve the surrounding community; however, it is chilling to actually witness the spectacle. Sometimes the difference in these things is simply timing; but sometimes it is our own unwillingness or unavailability. It is enabling to all relationships- with friends, family, and God- to be available.

Next, I have seen such true joy by simple enjoyment in all situations. Your task or circumstance at the moment may seem insignificant, pointless, or maybe it seems life changing. Whatever it is, strive to enjoy it. Know that God meets you where you are. So get to know Him where you are in exactly what you are experiencing. Pour your heart out where you are, because God has placed you there for a purpose. Know that your role, whatever it is, is significant. “If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God has arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as He chose.” (1 Corinthians 12:17-18). Dedicate your service and the love to the concept of the object, not the title that you may receive. Do not participate to add to your resume or good standing because that is unsatisfying and will only be forgotten. Serve and love knowing that Christ has first served and loved you. “The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28). “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Again, we follow Christ’s example. His love and service is completely selfless, He strives to bring glory and honor to God the Father. In accepting your role in where you are placed, seek to enjoy it knowing that God has purposefully put you there because there you are able to love, serve, and bring His name glory.

“Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise! Give thanks to Him; bless His name! For the LORD is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and His faithfulness to all generations.” –Psalm 100:4-5-

Praying Psalm 23:3

I have had the blessing of growing up in a Christian home. I attended private Christian schools all the way through my senior graduation and have grown up regularly attending church. I have heard the words of Psalm 23 since infancy, literally. And while that is such a sweet blessing, it can be a little bit of a danger too. I heard this so often that my heart became dull to it’s meaning. But in this season of life God has renewed it’s sweetness in my heart and mind.

“He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” (Psalm 23:3). The Lord has been teaching me so much about prayer through this short verse. Following David’s example I have been learning so much through his attitude of trust and hope in God. David is anointed and promised a throne, and then the current king hunts him like a madman. In this time, David teaches us how to pray so many things through these truths. May we pray for the grace to let God restore our souls and lead us in His ways in every season and circumstance. Our Father loves us so much that He has given us free will; we are not slaves or robots. He so desperately wants us to accept His unconditional and unfailing love. Only He is able to love us in a way that fully satisfies and fills our souls. May we pray for humility to know He leads us because of His character- who He is and what He has done for us- not of our own merit. We cannot earn His approval or help because of anything we in and of ourselves do. We cannot do anything to change His love or who He is. He loves and He leads because it is His character; He is our Heavenly Father. May we pray for submission to follow our shepherd trusting that He knows not only the destination but also each and every step of the way. “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” (John 14:3). As a shepherd leads his flock to the greener pasture, he has to know not only where he is going but also the best way to get there. We do not know the way, and we often may not see the purpose or understand the timing. But God is good. While we may falter along the way, He never changes. He loves us so much that He sent His one and only Son to take on all of the shame and punishment that we deserved so that He could bring us into His kingdom to belong. “He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.” (1 Peter 2:24-25).  You are loved unconditionally. You are led by the God who knows your heart fully and wants to give you life abundantly.

The Caravan was on its Way

I wish I could keep track of the times the question “why me?” has gone through my mind. Sometimes it’s in hurtful and frustrating situations… “why did this happen to me?... I don’t know if I really did anything wrong?...”. The list could go on. Sometimes it’s even in response to exciting or awesome opportunities. I wonder, “How did this happen to me?... Did they know what they signed on for when they chose me for this?” This too could go on. It’s interesting that this same question could be asked in such different situations. I find that it is often based in the same thought process that “I am undeserving”.  My favorite response to this is the thought I borrow from Tim Keller that while I am so wrecked Jesus had to die on the cross in order to redeem me, at the same time, I am so loved that Jesus wanted to do this for me.

Today I stumbled upon a revelation of faith displayed by Joseph as explained by the author Marian Jordan. Jordan connects the dots in Joseph’s life and lines them up like dominoes in order to show how powerful, eternal, and sovereign God’s plans and timing are. (Stick with me as I share her connections)

·       If Joseph’s brothers never sell him to the Midianites, then Joseph never goes to Egypt

·       If Joseph never goes to Egypt, he is never sold to Potiphar

·       If he is never sold to Potiphar, Potiphar’s wife never accuses him of rape

·       If Potiphar’s wife never falsely accuses him of rape, then he is never put in prison

·       If he is never put in prison, he never meets the baker and butler of Pharaoh

·       If he never meets the baker and butler of Pharaoh, he never interprets their dreams

·       If he never interprets their dreams, he never gets to interpret Pharaoh’s dream

·       If he never gets to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams, he is never made prime minister

·       If he is never made prime minister, he never wisely administrates for the severe famine coming upon the region

·       If he never wisely administrates for the severe famine coming upon the region, then his family back in Canaan perishes from the famine

·       If his family back in Canaan perishes from the famine, the Messiah can’t come forth from a dead family

·       If the Messiah can’t come forth, then Jesus never came

·       If Jesus never came, you are dead in your sins and without hope in this world

Each point in his journey is crucial to the next. Each moment is a launching point for the next. You better believe after reading even just this summary of Joseph’s story that God is big enough to make good come of His child being sold into slavery by his own brothers. If I were Joseph, I think I would have questioned at every corner, “why is this happening to me?”. But seeing Joseph’s entire story, it all makes sense. Well here’s the good news. God sees the whole story of you and me. He is using each domino to lead to the next as He carefully and purposefully orchestrates each moment to work for the good of those who love Him and to bring His name eternal glory. Here’s another awesome point. Marian Jordan shares this thought that her mentor shared with her, “Did you ever think about the fact that the caravan was on its way to Egypt long before Joseph was ever thrown into that pit?”. Continue Joseph’s story even further back than the summary above. Even before Joseph’s father sent him to check on his brothers, that caravan to Egypt was on its way. It was not delayed, and it was not ahead of schedule. It came just in time to save Joseph from death… just in time to knock over that next domino.

Let me make note here, I do not write these words to give anyone a future focus. I don’t want anyone to walk away from this running in search of the next domino. You won’t know probably till you’re looking back, if then at all. I write this as an encouragement on perspective. When the question “why me?” comes up, answer in confidence that God not only knows why, but has beautiful and eternal purpose in why. He will provide the path and the purpose.

The caravan was already on its way.

Heart of Worship

In this season of life, my prayer is that the Lord would develop a heart of worship in me. When things are changing, confusing, fast-paced, or chaotic, it is my tendency to make myself busy with fun or productive things. I don’t let myself sit still and think over everything. I engulf myself with other things so in some way I don’t have to face what I don’t want to. The downfall in this is that this means I don’t sit still to seek to get to know the character of my God and just worship Him for who He is. What a waste of time to do anything else! In all things, I pray that God’s glory would be my delight and my purpose.

We are created to worship. Our hearts seek what grants them joy, peace, love, and satisfaction. We thirst for something greater. Our hearts each have a God-shaped hole. I love reading through David’s praises as he pours out his heart in Psalms. “Bless the LORD, O my soul! O LORD my God, You are very great! You are clothed with splendor and majesty, covering Yourself with light as with a garment, stretching out the heavens like a tent. He lays the beams of His chambers on the waters; He makes the clouds His chariot; He rides on the wings of the wind;” (Psalm 104:1-3). Our God is so great. He loves unconditionally. He is faithful. He is almighty. He is sovereign. He is intimate. The list of all things that God is and what He has done for us goes on and on. When I let myself be still, I am amazed of His great love for me, someone once broken but now restored and redeemed. When I allow myself to not be overscheduled and overwhelmed, I have time and clarity to see more of who God is and what He has done in my life. “Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told” (Habakkuk 1:5). Stop and look what God is doing.

It is so easy when we become overscheduled to give our hearts to idols. When we spend so much time, pour out so much of our hearts, work so hard, etc… we are giving ourselves away sometimes, making good things ultimate things. “The word epithumiai, meaning “inordinate desires,” is very common in the New Testament and has strong links to the idea of idolatry” (Tim Keller). This is such a perfect explanation of idols. They are “inordinate desires”. When we idolize something, we allow our hearts to settle for something less than they were designed for. These are deeply rooted and cannot be removed quickly or easily. Thomas Chalmers explains this in this way, “The only way to dispossess the heart of an old affection is by the explosive power of a new one”. To rid ourselves of lesser desires, our hearts must be overwhelmed and satisfied in Christ. Our hearts are designed to worship and find fulfillment in something greater than ourselves. This is accomplished in Christ.

“You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” (Psalm 16:11)

Come and Belong

The more time that passes, the more I realize and understand that I will never truly “arrive”. Not here on this earth. Our lives here are only temporary, but every moment of them is a journey. We work so hard to proceed to whatever we think is the next step. I go to college so that I can earn a degree so that I can hopefully get a “good” job so that I can support myself so that I can start a family so that I can raise children in the ways of the Lord… it doesn’t really ever end. There are several things I find funny about this mindset. First of all, who am I to say what will or will not happen in my life? “Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14). We are not promised even the next moment. But I also find it funny how self-centered that entire mindset becomes. It becomes all about my hopes and dreams and success. But this journey is not my story. I only play a small part in the eternal tapestry of God’s creation and story of redemption. This story is not about what I accomplish or who I am, instead it is about whose I am.  “Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?” (Romans 6:16). We either belong to sin (and thus to death) or we belong to Christ, being justified by His righteousness.

John Piper explains the invitation of the gospel as: “If Christ’s, then come and belong”. This story is not about me. I belong completely to Christ because it is by His blood and His grace that I am ransomed from my former life of sin. “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). This is nothing of our own doing; God chose to put Christ’s righteousness upon us while we were still sinners. “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8). So since I am ransomed I am now a child; I belong. Belonging to God changes the entire view and purpose of my journey. It is no longer about my dreams, success, or desires. Belonging to Christ leads to a Christ-centered life. God’s glory becomes our joy, His honor and praise becomes the delight of the soul. To quote John Piper again, “He created us in such a way that His glory is displayed through our joy in it”.  Belonging to God’s family establishes the purpose “that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God” (Romans 8:21). 

This journey is an invitation. An invitation to come and belong.