Faithfulness like Wind

In my mind, I like to think of God's faithfulness like the wind. It is not a tangible object that I can visibly see, or touch and wrap my hands around. It does not always obviously make itself known in my day-to-day life. But, because God is gracious, He reveals His faithfulness to us through the Holy Spirit. There is evidence of His faithfulness everywhere. His faithfulness is like the wind. I cannot physically see the wind moving through the air around me, but I can see its influence everywhere. I see it rustle the leaves and make the flowers play. I see it in time spent with my roommates, laughing, processing through hard seasons, and time spent sharing burdens and crying over them together. The people around us are God's provision. Although we cannot see or touch the attribute of God's faithfulness, we have evidence of it everywhere. God does not ask us to believe because we can see, He asks us to trust and have faith. "For we walk by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7). We are able to develop faith by learning from His example.

"if we are faithless, He remains faithful - for He cannot deny Himself" (2 Timothy 2:13)

We may not see the blueprint of His plan, and we may busy ourselves too much with temporary things to notice God's eternal work around us, but God is faithful. He is faithful when we are not, and when we choose not to look for evidence of His faithfulness. I do not think that God desires a relationship with each of us individually so that He can make our lives comfortable, successful, and picture-perfect in whatever way we may imagine. There may be some times of rustled feathers, and of houses built on the sand blown over. But through all circumstances, we are given life abundantly through the righteousness of Jesus, because God's faithfulness is unchanging. A life lived with Jesus is a life that is guaranteed trial, but it is also a life that is guaranteed eternity with our Lord.

As believers, we have the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. As a result of being indwelled by the Spirit and also being made in the likeness of God, we possess His attributes, poor reflections though they may be at times. Therefore, because God is faithful, I have the capacity to be faithful by the Spirit. In my own life, I have been learning about faithfulness through prayer. I seek the Lord in prayer often through request, and usually lacking perseverance or seriousness. God graciously fosters growth in my faith by leading me to persist in prayer, knowing that immediate gratification would quench my perceived need of Him. Receiving an immediate answer would not call for trust, rather my trust would simply be a product of visible results. "God is so good" are my thoughts to answered prayers. Truthfully, God is good regardless of how He answers my prayers, because God is faithful. He is faithful to promote His glory and He is faithful to make believers more like His Son.

What would our lives look like if we let them be a demonstration of God's faithfulness?

Traveling Light, Accepting Grace

I have a Type A personality. For anyone reading this who knows me, you may laugh at how obvious this truth is. Just the other day I told my mom the number of steps for the three groups of stairs leading up to my room in my house at school (5, 8, 5). My roommate and mom looked at me while I explained like I was some unique and strange object in a museum, and laughed with me at my quirkiness of caring about the number of steps so that I could skip the correct stair to land just right on the landing at the top.

I share this basic knowledge about myself to give context. Knowing that I am a Type A person, I know myself to desire control, knowledge, plans, and understanding. Right now, I would love the knowledge of what life after graduation in May looks like. I would like control over the job search process. And I would certainly like understanding for how to enjoy life in the moment as a senior in college, while still preparing for life as soon as this season ends in only a few months. As a Type A, I also am a doer. I like to commit myself and get involved with my surroundings. I am quite talented in the art of distracting myself. Knowing these things about me, and maybe they relate to you, will make these thoughts even more refreshing and life-giving.

In our culture, we are told to be individualistic, dreamers, achievers, extraordinary, and self-sufficient. In the midst of being fed all of these ambitions, I am learning each moment of every day that I am a member of a whole, in need of community, that my life is not my own, and that apart from God I am one reckless heart without hope and incapable of meaningful dreams. When I get caught up in the ambitions of our culture, I am quick to measure the value of my life on my performance. Do I have a sufficient and wide breadth of knowledge? Am I involved in the right things? Is my life different? In short: do I measure up? I then desperately try to balance on the tightrope that is the relationship of faith and works. The knowledge that works are a result, or evidence, of genuine faith is slowly transforming my daily life. My works do not save me. I could never attain any level of worthiness or acceptance on my own, regardless of how many people I serve or how many wells I build or diseases I cure. There is literally nothing that could help me, a broken sinner, earn my way back into a right relationship with my perfect Creator. "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, so that no one may boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).

This is where I often make my mistake. I look to God for grace, but at the same time am often not willing to accept it. I admit a struggle, I recognize a sin, I see the consequence and influence it has over my life and seek restoration. But here's what I do: I hand over the suitcase of what weighs me down, but hold onto all of its contents. I will recognize the issue and hand over the name (anxiety, a lack of trust, judgement, etc.), but I still hold onto its filling with clenched fists. I hand over the shell of the problem, but remain unable to move on to better things and a useful life, because my hands are literally full of what God offers to hold for me.

Why do we hold onto these useless things? I ask God to restore my mind after struggling with anxiety, and the next moment when I am asked about something with an uncertain answer, the choice to choose between promised peace and hope in God's character and plan and my natural (and sinful) emotion to worry, comes all too quickly. It is by grace that I am saved. by grace. Every day, when I am presented with the option to work for approval (to make the grade, get the interview, be the go-to friend, etc.), I will relinquish my grip on all of the luggage that wears me down. by grace. By grace, I will draw near to God's throne, in faith, and know that what He has in store is better. I will travel light, knowing that my King is capable, willing, and eager to carry my load for me, in fact He already has.  "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16).